3 Tips To Reconnect With Your Partner And Save Your Marriage
Have you been married or with your partner for a while and want to bring the spark back before you get to the point of needing to save your marriage? Mark and I have been together for 31 years and married for 28 of them, YIKES! Time really does fly and it seems like yesterday it was 1986 and we were two kids playing in a weekend broomball tournament on the same team. Sparks flew back then, but like with any relationship it’s had its ups and downs and it hasn’t always been rainbows and sunshine. No ma’am, but with every challenge, we’ve come out the other side with a deeper love and understanding for each other.
First, I must pre-unqualify (is that a word?) myself as a relationship expert; I’m not a marriage therapist nor do I pretend everything is perfect in mine. Mark and my relationship is a work in progress and I’m only sharing a few things that helped us re-connect recently. My hope is to keep you from having to save your marriage, before it gets to the point of no return. Here we go, in no particular order:
Shut Down Electronics
We hear it all the time, shut down electronics to save your marriage. It is ironic how “connected” we are to the world these days, yet how unconnected we are from human interaction. Mark and I fall into this trap a lot, especially since we have the Aging Youthful blog, my online lifestyle coaching program and get sales coaching and training for the health tracker business I’m in, I need to be…online. Regardless, talking without electronics in our hands or laps has been the most impactful “reconnection” secret I can share. How do we do it?
Get An Affordable, Inflatable Hot Tub
We recently bought an inflatable hot tub to soak our sore muscles after our Strongman workouts and long days of bouncing around in a haul truck at work for Mark. While the hot tub has been awesome for our bodies, it’s been a huge contributor to reconnecting our relationship. While we didn’t need to save our marriage, it certainly has given it a boost! For the 30 minutes or so we are in the hot tub, we can’t have electronics in the bubbling water, and as a result we are talking more. We’ve always done the “how’s your day been” small talk when one of us gets home, but we’ve found our conversation goes deeper and we talk about more stuff. We’ve also found it’s a great way to vet out ideas for the blog, my online coaching program and more! The $300 we spent on our Intex inflatable hot tub, is less than the cost of a session with a therapist if we had to try to save our marriage! (Intex, I think you have a new marketing campaign, we can be your poster couple!). There’s also this thing about being in your birthday suit together for a while…I’ll spare you the details as this is a family blog, but let’s just say it helps with another kind of connection too. 😉
Go On Dates
This is something Mark and I didn’t do for years. In our younger days, we thought going to a bar and getting drunk was a date. Ugh, I am so glad I outgrew that! While we still have a drink or two if we go out to dinner, we do more than just sit at the bar. When we lived in the bush for 10 years, going on a date was such a chore, we usually had movie night at home (Thank you Netflix!), but now that we live in a town with a theater, we’ve been catching a movie at least once a month. We’d like to do more, but with our work and workout schedules (see #3), one night a month is pretty awesome.
Mark hates spending tons of money going to the movies and loves to complain about the cost of concession food, so I’d like to share a “save a ton of money at the movies” hack someone shared with me! If you are an AT&T customer, there is this little perk you get called Movie Twos-days. Every Tuesday, if your town has a theater that participates, you get two tickets for the price of one! PLUS, if your theater happens to be a Regal Theater and you are a Regal Rewards member, on, concessions are half-price! Since we usually eat before the movies, we share a medium popcorn and drink, so in the end the cost of dinner (we don’t get too fancy), movie and concessions is about the same cost of the movie without dinner. (and we practice #1…no electronics are allowed, except for the pre-movie selfie).
Find Something To Do Together
This has been something we have practiced our whole marriage. For the first 22 years, we raced sled dogs, so we were certainly doing something together. From scooping dog poop to training and spending thousands of miles on the trail together, we spent more time together than we wanted to sometimes! There were times the stress and work of having 30-50 dogs in your front yard almost had us seeking help in saving our marriage. However, at the end of the day, because we had a common goal, we always came back together. There was always something to talk about at the dinner table and we always felt connected.
We “retired” from racing in 2011 and now instead of training dogs together, we are working out together! Mark has been Strongman training for the last couple of years, and I recently joined him in the Strongman gym! While each of our programmed workouts and our schedules are different, we once again have something in common to talk about…usually in the hot tub as we are soaking our sore muscles! You don’t have to do Strongman stuff, just find something to do together: Go for nightly walks, volunteer at the local soup kitchen, etc. If you need some inspiration, click here to get a list of 10 Things To Reconnect and Save Your Marriage pdf sent to your inbox!
What are some of your favorite ways to reconnect with your partner? Mark and I love hearing from you! Drop a comment below, and/or on our Facebook or Instagram pages. (Be sure to follow me on Instagram…I like to have fun with InstaStories and share my love of Aussie butts. It’s mostly Takum’s backside, but I’m always on the lookout for cute Aussie butts!).
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